Perception is everything

Is this a comely young lass or an old hag? If you’ve seen this classic optical illusion before, you know the answer is both. Or more precisely: “it depends on how you look at it.”

We humans perceive everything through our personal lens –– our unique blend of knowledge, experience, values and desires. No two people will perceive an identical situation the same way. Two people could be standing in the same room and see it differently –- they’re viewing it from different angles, for one, and interpret what they’re seeing uniquely. And each of those people might see the room differently themselves depending on the day, the time and their mood. People change --they learn new facts, gain life experience, rethink their assumptions, and value different things as they grow older and (presumably) wiser.

I’ve seen this for myself in a myriad of ways. Pop stars that seemed so cool and intimidating to me as a kid often seem ridiculous (and a little sad) in retrospect. Situations that tormented me in college wouldn’t faze me today. And people I once idealized have been knocked from the pedestal as their human frailties came to light.

Sometimes I’m surprised at how quickly my own perception of something can change –- new information, circumstances, or hypotheses, if compelling enough, can upend even the most entrenched sentiment.

But more often, our perception lags the changing reality. Once, when I was picking up my daughter from preschool, I mistook another kid for Elena. (I know: Father of the Year, right?) As I drew closer to the unwitting imposter, I noticed that she was taller and chubbier than my daughter –- and wasn’t responding when I called her name. Instead of recalibrating my initial assumption and realizing that I had honed in on the wrong girl, I instantly began adjusting my perception of Elena. Wow, I thought, Elena has gotten so big without my noticing –- not to mention a little hard of hearing. One of the teachers, embarrassed for me, sheepishly pointed out where Elena actually was.

This kind of perception-lag happens all the time. We bend new information to our preconceived assumptions rather than the other way around. We continue spending time with toxic people, supporting politicians long after their policies have ceased serving our interests, and buying products even when alternatives have emerged in the marketplace.

What blinds our perception? Is it inertia? Misguided loyalty? Unwillingness to admit you were wrong?

I guess it all depends on how you look at it.