Not getting the social-media hate

People who live their lives on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, Pinterest, Instagram or the countless other social networks have always seemed a little sad to me. As do the people who seem so self-satisfied for not being on them.

While I can understand why even a tech-savvy person wouldn’t personally use a social network -– I think it’s misguided in today’s world, but I can understand it on some level –- people who seem emotionally vested in others’ joining the boycott perplex me to the extreme.

Yes, reasonable people can find fault with particular services. Facebook’s fast-and-loose concept of user privacy irritates me, too, and I’d drop the service in a second if I felt the company crossed the line. And sure, Twitter is not the place for well-developed arguments or deep philosophical discourse. And no, seeing a photo of someone’s meal on Instagram is not exactly enlightening. People abuse and misuse every form of communication, whether it’s the printing press, TV or the telephone. Above all, I couldn’t agree more that If social media ever begins to take the place of personal communication, it has defeated its own purpose.

But in my experience, these tools enhance communication and personal relationships. In addition to allowing me to keep in touch with far-flung friends from every stage of my life, these tools allow friends to effortlessly share things that they wouldn’t necessarily deem significant enough to email, print or bring up in a quick conversation -– things that they wouldn’t think to share but I enjoy  enjoy knowing. An article in the New York Times a few years ago labeled this notion “ambient awareness.” This doesn’t take the place of real-life personal connections –- it encourages them.

That said, I have no stake in whether someone else uses a particular service --or none of them. (In other words, I’m not like the HR manager who wrote the third letter in today’s Dear Prudence column). If Facebook isn’t your thing or brings nothing of value to you, who am I to persuade you to use it? That’s why I’m surprised when someone feels so strongly against other people using social networks.

I hate Arby’s with a passion. But I promise I won’t think less of you for eating there.