Kenny Dirt Jeans

I just had the epitomal San Francisco encounter at Albertson's. I saw a fairly attractive woman in one of the isles but couldn't help noticing how unusually tall she was. I spent the rest of the time wondering how she found men that tall and if she'd ever date someone as short as me. By pure coincidence, I ended up behind her in the checkout line. Struck by how deep her voice when she addressed the clerk, I took a closer look at her face and suddenly realized that "she" was no woman -- at least in a strict biological sense. Can you sing "Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola...?"

In other news, beware Microsoft Money. It'll work fine for a few months and then turn on you.